Marriage

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DickB
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Marriage

Bericht door DickB » 09 aug 2012 15:31

WHAT IS MARRIAGE???

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1. Marriage is not a word.

It's a sentence (a life sentence).

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2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

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3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her masters.

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4. Marriage is a three-ring circus:

engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

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5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOUR listens.

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6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

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7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

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8. Son: How much does it cost you to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

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9. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China , a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

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10. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

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11. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

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12. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he i s g oing through HELL.

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13. When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

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14. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America , the rest cheat in Europe .

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15. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

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16. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.

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17. I married Miss right; I just didn't know her first name was Always.

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18. Losing a husband can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

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19. A man was complaining to a friend: I had it all, money, a beautiful house, the love of a beautiful woman, then poof! It was all gone. What happened, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT.

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20. WIFE: Let' s g o out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: Ok, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway lights on.

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21. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

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22. A woman inserted an ad in the paper - HUSBAND WANTED. The next day she received hundreds of letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

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23. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.

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E31, the road to go!
Dick
Voorzitter BMW Club E31 Nederland
Voorzitter Federatie Nederlandse BMW Clubs(FNBC)
Voorzitter BMW Auto Clubs Nederland(BACN)
President BMW 8er Clubs International(B8CI)
(oud)Landervorstand Club E31 WOG

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